


Blood Spills, Cake Fails and Wedding Bells

by Slaywei (mysteriouslydelightfulchaos)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alive Mary Winchester, Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Baker Sam Winchester, Bakery Shop Owner Dean Winchester, Doctor Adam Milligan, Established Relationship, Good Parent John Winchester, Good Parent Naomi (Supernatural), Good Person Gadreel (Supernatural), Lawyer Lucifer (Supernatural), Michael (Supernatural) is So Done, Multi, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-10-23 18:42:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17688818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysteriouslydelightfulchaos/pseuds/Slaywei
Summary: Dean & Sam's little brother Adam is getting married to Lucifer Milton the second oldest of the Milton family. The two pack up and close shop and head over to see their baby brother marry the love of his life. What Dean doesn't expect is to see Michael Milton his ex-boyfriend almost as soon as he entered Adam and Lucifer's house. He certainly isn't expecting the bright blue eyed black haired cutie that Michael has his arm around and introduces as Castiel Novak, his boyfriend. But Dean isn't going to let this faze him, its his brothers wedding not some kinda of hallmark movie. Meanwhile Sam is eyeing both Balthazar Shurley and Gabriel Milton, Lucifer's brother who is looking better than Sam last saw him. Sam can deal with them just fine separately its the fact that the two are constantly together whenever Sam is around that troubles him. While Adam on the other hand prepares to marry the love of his life, he struggles with revealing exactly what he does that warrants the attendance of famous alleged mafia boss Gadreel Stone at his wedding. All three brothers are struggling to stay afloat and prevent a blowout that could potentially destroy this marriage before it even begins. God help them all.





	1. Remember when you taught me faith

Dean Winchester opened up the letter that was a pure white with a golden inscription that showed him and Sam's names in loopy cursive. Sam was still downstairs closing the bakery up while Dean was up in their shared loft going through the mail. Opening up the folded card he read the words "You're invited to the wedding of Adam Milligan-Winchester & Lucifer Milton." As those words registered in Dean's mind, Sam came upstairs with a box of pizza and a liter of soda. Instead of talking to his brother Dean simply shoved the card into Sam's face and opened up the box of pizza taking one slice out and chewing on it. Sam gave him a bitchface and read the rest of it out loud. The two sat there eating the pizza and drinking soda it was around 10 p.m. when Sam broke the relative silence. "So I guess we better pack up and leave Benny in charge then?"

Dean shrugged and munched on the pizza slice in his hand. Sam rolled his eyes and drank from his cup of soda deciding himself that it was the best course of action. The rest of the night was filled with the two brothers eating and watching tv before going to bed. Sam retired first at 11:25 p.m. while Dean stayed awake and fell asleep on the couch at 12:35 a.m. The following morning at 6:30 a.m. Dean woke up and stretched from his spot on the couch grumbling at the open curtain that allowed the sunlight into the living room. Stumbling into the kitchen Dean was greeted with Sam handing him a cup of coffee while he made some breakfast. The two stood in the kitchen eating and drinking coffee when the phone went off. Grabbing it off the counter Sam spoke into the receiver while Dean finished up his third cup of coffee.

Dean made his way downstairs and brought out the cakes that were cooling down in the back and put them in the displays. While Dean was setting up the cookies and cupcakes displays the employee entrance opened up to reveal Benny Lafitte who was already dressed in his uniform. Dean smiled at him and Benny smiled right back and started to put down the chairs and bring down the menu from above the register. Sam choose that moment to come from the upstairs and almost knocked over the mini ladder Benny was standing on. Luckily he didn't and both Benny and Sam were okay, Dean laughed and started making some fresh desserts and pastries.

Once everything was ready Sam went over to the front door and flipped the sign to open instead of closed. It was only 8 a.m. when their first customer a mom who was holding a toddler entered the bakery holding onto her son she stepped up to the counter. Dean smiled at her and said "Hey Lisa! Your usual again?" Lisa smiled grateful and nodded just as Ben threw his arms out and squealed out "DEAN!!" The man in question smiled and handed Lisa a box with two slices of strawberry cheesecake and another box with three cupcakes. Leaning across the counter Dean patted Ben's hair down and said "Hey kiddo what are you going to do today?" while handing Ben a freshly baked chocolate cookie. Lisa gave Dean a smile and then the two were off to start their day.

After that the bakery was packed with people going in and out its doors. When it finally hit 1:00 p.m. Sam put the lunch notice on the door and the three men sat at a table and ate lunch. It was there that Sam told Benny they'd be going home to attend their baby brother's wedding and that while they were gone he was in charge. Benny swore to keep the store up and running while they were at home. After their lunch break the three got back to work and started to make orders. Eventually everything was busy and they threw themselves into their work while customers passed through the bakery like a shipping port. Some of their customers included a man who bought his daughter cupcakes that were arranged to represent the lesbian pride flag. (She wasn't a lesbian she had just dyed her hair a light blue, but she was touched by her dad's effort.) Another was a group of kids who were positively delighted to test out Sam's new recipe for a chocolate cake. One of Dean's favorite customers included a couple who were arguing before one of them took a cupcake off of the trays and shoved it into the others face.

Just before the bakery was about to close a man who looked unhappy entered. Benny took a good look at him and said "Man, you look like crap..damn Eli what happened to you?" Dean and Sam looked up from their counters and saw two Bennys? 'What the hell' both brothers thought. Eli threw Benny a dark look and promptly snagged the keys off his work station. Looking rather miffed Eli said that he'd see Benny in the car and he didn't want to talk about anything. Benny just stared at him with a knowing look. After that the three parted ways, Benny going home while Sam and Dean headed upstairs to pack their suitcases.

-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-  


Adam Milligan-Winchester opened his door to find Gadreel Stone bleeding heavily all over his front porch. Sending a quick thanks to whatever divine power up above that his husband to be was out tonight. He opened the door wider and snagged Gadreel's arm to drag him in careful not to cause any more damage. Gadreel let out a noise of pain but let him do it since Adam was a professional. Quickly setting up a small makeshift first aid station Adam got to work. "Are you okay? Do you feel dizzy? Are you feeling faint or anything?"

Gadreel hissed as Adam cleaned the wound and stitched him up. "I hope not. I got a date with Abner and if this doesn't kill me he certainly will." It was silent for a few seconds as Adam finished up the stitches and Gadreel focused on staying up. Then Adam's voice broke the silence with "Okay we definitely need to work on your priorities." Gadreel let out a small laugh and groaned as he held his now stitched up right side. Adam rolled his eyes and cleaned up the makeshift station checking the floor for any stray blood drops. Thankfully Gadreel had bleed on the towels and rags and not on the carpet or hardwood floors.

Adam held out a cup of water to Gadreel who took it and drank it slowly. The two men sat there in comfortable silence as they drank their respective drinks. It couldn't have been more than ten minutes when Gadreel's phone rang and he cursed reaching into his jean pocket. Finally grasping the phone he pulled it free from his pocket and answered it.

"Hello?...Abner baby...uh I'll be there in twenty minutes give or take...yes I'm fine just got caught up in something...yeah I love you too...bye..."

Gadreel sighed heavily and gathered his ruined shirt. Adam raised an eyebrow at him but helped him out the door. Gadreel winced and put on his jacket carefully in order to avoid opening the stitches he left his zipper undone and threw Adam a look. Adam just shrugged and handed Gadreel an invitation to his wedding. Sure this little friendship was weird but Adam and Gadreel were friends and he was pretty sure Gadreel wouldn't even show up. After that Gadreel took off in his expensive car and Adam put away the emergency medical supplies and threw the bloody towels into the washer while the rags went straight to the trash. It was 8:20 p.m. when Adam finally finished cleaning up any evidence that he had a visitor and just on time was Lucifer's car engine was heard not a moment later.

The door opened just as Adam had folded the last towel and shut the closet door. Heading towards the front door Adam found his husband to be putting his coat on the hook and taking off his shoes. Lucifer looked up and grinned at Adam who smiled back and shook his head. Lucifer finally finished and happily grabbed Adam's hand and pulled him into the kitchen. Adam laughed as Lucifer made his way through the kitchen gathering up two plates and pulling out a cardboard box that Adam had been dying to look into all day but resisted. Adam watched as Lucifer set the box on the table and then put the plates down. Lucifer looked up and smiled before telling Adam to turn around that it was a surprise. Adam resisted the urge to tease him and instead did as he was told. There was shuffling and suddenly Lucifer spoke "Okay face me Adam." Turning around Adam saw his mother's world famous cheesecake and his words failed.

Lucifer nervously shifted and began talking "I know its not exactly right I'm pretty sure I missed a step but damn your mom's version is something I can never even top or recreate..but I think I did it justice-" Adam shut Lucifer up by snagged his collar and kissing him straight on the mouth being met with little resistance. The two stood there kissing before Lucifer broke it off his hands in Adam's hair messing it up. They stood there regaining their breath and then Lucifer said "Can we eat the cheesecake before we do anything cause I've been dying for a slice since I baked this." Adam laughed and nodded in agreement. The two sat down both foregoing the plates and eating straight from the box. Their night was filled with laughter and kisses and the occasional make out session. The two husbands to be were enjoying their night together. They'd be official husbands in a week and both couldn't wait. 


	2. If there's something strange in the neighborhood

Kate Milligan was pretty sure that when she left that her house wasn't looking like world war 3. Carefully she entered and shut the doors taking one look at the front entrance which was covered in jackets and coats from the closet by the entrance. She went in further and saw the staircase had party streamers all over the place and the steps were covered in bits of fluffy cotton. Deciding to explore the living room rather than the upstairs she found Reddie their large mixed breed dog lounging on the couch but no John or Mary in sight. She gave Reddie a look which caused the dog to jump off the couch and run off towards the backdoor. Kate opened the kitchen door and found John trying to get their neighbors cat off the ceiling fan as Rocky their German Shepherd growled lowly as she circled the kitchen table.

"John what on earth are you doing?" Almost as soon as those words escaped Kate's mouth all hell broke loose. The cat finally let go and Rocky had launched herself at the cat mid air. John cursed and immediately tried to grab Rocky but failed to do so and only barely caught her tail as the dog was too quick. Rocky and the neighbors cat went tumbling into the living room as a ball of fur. Kate quickly made her way into the living room and attempted to extract the neighbors cat from the rolling ball of fur. Reddie was laying on his bed looking at the ball of fur fury and was easily distracted by John who had finally joined Kate. Reddie jumped out of his bed and ran straight at John who quickly grabbed a hold of Reddie's collar. They stood there for a few seconds before the backdoor opened and Mary walked in holding a basket of fruits and vegetables along with another basket of flowers both from her and Kate's garden. For a second time that day all hell broke loose once more.

"Is everything okay? Why is Fritz here? Why is the kitchen a mess? Why is the living room covered in fur?" Mary asked setting down the baskets and grabbing Fritz from underneath Rocky who had him underneath her. Fritz gave a pitiful meow and curled up in Mary's arms purring happily as she pet him. Rocky growled and Kate immediately took a hold of her collar before she could knock Mary down. It was silent for all about three seconds then their front door opened and both Reddie and Rocky began to howl causing Fritz to jump and dig his claws into Mary's arm causing her to drop him. Once Fritz hit the ground he took off and ran out the door bypassing Adam who had opened the door. "Mom, Mom, Dad...what the fuck?" Were Adam's greeting words as soon as he processed the scene in front of him.

"It's the cat's fault."

"Adam! Honey you're home..is something wrong? Did you and Lucifer have a fight?"

"If you want I can physically fight your potentially ex husband to be."

Adam threw his mom Mary a quick look and said "What..no! You don't have to physically fight anyone mom oh my god!" Mary shrugged and picked up the baskets taking the one filled with fruits and vegetables to the kitchen and the other somewhere else. Leaving John and Kate to explain why the rest of the house looks like a disaster zone. John spoke first "So Fritz decided to come into our humble home and start a fight with Rocky who made sure he know she owned this house." Adam stared at his dad and decided that this must've been a dream that was very realistic. Unfortunately Reddie chewing on Adam's coat sleeve proved it was very very real.

Pulling his arm away from the large dog he took off his coat and picked up the rest of them thrown about the front entrance. Kate smiled and let go of Rocky who ran off probably to join Mary and try and eat the flowers. John was slowly but surely slipping away back into the kitchen and well Kate wouldn't have that. She quickly snatched John's arm and said "We have to clean the staircase and the upstairs. So don't think you're going to go back into that kitchen and avoid this." John made a noise but it died almost as soon as Kate gave him a withering look. He sighed and went to go clean the staircase while Kate headed upstairs to assess the damage. Meanwhile Adam was downstairs cleaning up the mess left behind by Fritz and Rocky. The house was silent once more while the four family members cleaned up the house.

-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-

Dean banged his fist on Sam's door and screamed "SAMMY GET THE FUCK OUT WE GOTTA GO! NO ONE HAS TIME FOR YOU TO BRUSH AND COUNT YOUR DAMN HAIR!" There was silence in the room and then Sam came out glaring at Dean and then said "First of all, I was packing up the rest of my things. Second of all, fuck you Dean" and with that he shut his door once more leaving Dean in the hallway mouth opened in shock. After about seven minutes Dean was outside in his car fixing up the inside. While Sam gave Benny the keys to the shop and explained everything to him once again. Soon Sam joined Dean in the car and the two started their trip home.

About an hour into the trip Sam fell asleep and Dean being the good big brother he is braked sending Sam forward in his seat belt. "What the fuck?!" Sam screamed as he looked around and saw Dean laughing. He glared and calmed himself down. 'Dean is such an asshole' he thought and made himself comfortable in his seat once more. Sam didn't fall asleep again instead he was reading a book and Dean naturally ragged on him for being such a nerd. The two rode in silence till they reached a rest stop and both got out. Dean went to fill up the tank and buy snacks while Sam went to buy actual food and drinks rather than being forced to eat rest stop junk food the whole way.

After about seven hours they switched so Dean could rest and Sam could drive. Dean hesitantly gave up his spot in the driver's seat and grumbled about it all for 30 minutes till he fell asleep. Sam rolled his eyes and kept driving occasionally looking over to make sure Dean wasn't with his head hanging out the window. Dean woke up about four hours later to Sam shaking him awake. He groaned and got out of the car and said "What the hell Sammy? I'm tired as fuck!" Sam rolled his eyes and gestured to the bags of food he had. The two still had about 30 minutes till they made it to Kansas and from there they'd head to Lawrence and be home.

The two finished up their food and Dean got into the driver's seat and started up the car. No way in hell would he let Sammy drive his car all the way home. Sam huffed but buckled himself into the passenger seat while Dean hit the gas pedal and drove. The two brothers made it in record time and once they got out of the car they saw that their childhood home hadn't changed all that much. They walked up to the door and Dean knocked the door swung open to reveal their dad who said "It's about damn time you two showed up. Adam's looking like a sacrificial lamb between your moms." Sam rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to retort when Dean hugged his dad and went inside most likely to make fun of Adam. "It's great to see you too dad." Sam spoke as he hugged him and then entered. The two headed to the living room and found Adam glaring at Dean while their moms fussed over him and then Reddie barked and ran full force at Sam.

Sam barely managed to stay balanced as Reddie knocked into his legs and pawed at him. Dean laughed and immediately Mary and Kate turned over to him and began to fuss over him instead. Adam gracefully stood up and made his way to Sam who was petting Reddie. John had silently slipped back into the kitchen and started working on their lunch. Rocky opened her eyes and then started to fall back asleep, she'd greet her other owners later. That fight with Fritz made her very tired. And so the Winchester-Milligan family was complete again. Two mothers had their boys back in their home and one dad was about to experience being eaten out of a home once more. While the three brothers were going to relive dealing with each other and fighting over lunch once more. Honestly life couldn't get more weirder only..it did Reddie growled at a figure in the distance staring at the Winchester-Milligan household. Then the figure vanished into thin air and Reddie ran back into the kitchen with John who fed him scraps of food now and then. 


	3. You'll find me in the lonely hearts Under 'I'm after a brand new start'

Gadreel Stone threw open his little brother's bedroom door and said "Samandriel get up. It's important I need your opinion on something." There was a groan before a pillow was thrown directly at Gadreel who dodged it and yanked the blanket his younger brother was wrapped up in. It gave way and suddenly Samandriel was cold and shivering as the coldness of his room slipped into his warmth. Glaring at Gadreel he sat up and stretched. He snatched the blanket back and wrapped it around himself as he waited for his brother to explain why he woke him up. "So what do you want Gadreel? Why am I awake this early on some godforsaken day?" Gadreel rolled his eyes and picked up a cube that Abner had gave Samandriel four birthdays ago. "I am having a friend crisis and I need your help on how to solve it." There was silence until Samandriel snickered and coughed to get himself composed. 'Oh boy, this is going to get messy and weird.' Thought Samandriel as he got out of bed and shoved his brother out of his room. Samandriel would need to put on pants for this conversation to be taken seriously.

Once Samandriel had proper pants on he joined Gadreel and Abner in the dining room. The two were having breakfast while the chef was packing up and leaving. His plate was already put together a little bit of everything as he sat down Gadreel poured him some juice. Abner was pouring some syrup over his waffles when Samandriel sat down shaking the table a bit causing the syrup to splash on the table top. Muttering some choice words Abner grabbed a napkin and cleaned it up. Samandriel grabbed a fork and started to eat some of the eggs on his plate. The three of them ate in relative silence occasionally broken by one of them asking for syrup or to pass the containers of food. Finally they all finished and they moved to the living room where Abner flipped through the tv channels and Gadreel sat alternating between reading and running his fingers through Abner's hair. Samandriel rolled his eyes and went on his phone to check his social media looking up to see what channel Abner had settled on for a few minutes. The doors opened to reveal one of Gadreel's men who held a stack of papers. Gadreel waved his hand and he came closer setting the stack on the table and speaking lowly with Gadreel about something. Samandriel was curious about his brother's conversation but chose to ignore it and instead focused on the show Abner had settled on. Suddenly Gadreel stood up and left them alone.

Gadreel followed one of his men outside into the backyard patio. There sat Crowley Macleod lounging on the patio chairs like he owned them. "What the fuck do you think you're doing on my property?" Gadreel spoke crossing his arms and watching Crowley closely. Gadreel's men left the two to speak alone. Crowley offered a smile that to others may have seemed friendly but to Gadreel who has seen it many times it left a bad taste in his mouth. "Pleasure to see you again too Mr. Stone. How's your boyfriend and little brother? Doing great I hope?" Crowley said as he stood from his seat fixing his suit and brushing off imaginary dirt and dust from it. Gadreel opted for saying the following rather than answering "Please kindly go die in a fire Mr. Macleod." Crowley sighed and took out a file from the inside of his jacket causing the guards nearby to train their guns on him. Crowley gave him a look and Gadreel called them off and they went back to patrolling the yard. "Now I believe I have the information on this Metatron that you're looking for." Crowley spoke up handing the file over to Gadreel.

Gadreel took it and flipped through it while scanning the words carefully. He shut it and snapped his fingers summoning two of his people one named Ruby Chambers who held a briefcase filled with cash and the other named Meg Masters who took the file from Gadreel's hands and carefully put it away. Ruby set it briefcase on the small table and popped it open so that Crowley could see everything was there. Crowley seemingly satisfied about the money took the briefcase after Ruby closed it and handed it over to him. "Pleasure doing business with you Mr. Stone. Till next time." With those words Crowley left being escorted out by a group of guards. Ruby and Meg looked at Gadreel who dismissed them shortly after. The two left and Gadreel let his shoulders drop he stood there for a couple minutes and then a pair of arms snaked around his shoulders and squeezed. Gadreel lifted his hands to hold onto Abner's arms. "Thanks babe I've just got a lot going on right now." Gadreel could feel Abner's smile through his clothes and he turned around. Abner was smiling and Gadreel took his face into his hands. Abner's arms slipped to hang around his neck and the two stood there lost in one other for several minutes. Samandriel peaked out from the sunroom leading out to the patio and gagged a bit. He banged his fist on the window and said "GUYS QUIT BEING GROSS I NEED YOUR HELP HERE!"

Gadreel let his head fall and hang almost as soon as he heard Samandriel. Abner laughed a bit and then pulled away. The two headed back towards the sunroom where Samandriel was at. Once they reached it Gadreel spoke "Samandriel what the fuck?" The sunroom was covered in small furry creatures, kittens Gadreel realized as one bound up to him and tried to climb his pant leg. Abner leaned down and picked up a small one with black fur and started cooing at it. Samandriel shuffled and said "I found a bunch of really fat cats and well turns out they were actually pregnant and well...yeah." Gadreel rubbed his head and tried to think calmly and rationally. Finally he spoke and said the following "We can keep five the rest will have to be given up for adoption." Samandriel immediately picked up a small calico kitten and grabbed his phone. Meanwhile Abner had grown attached to the black kitten that he picked up while Gadreel grabbed the kitten that was biting his shoelace. Three down two to go. Most of the kittens were taken in by Gadreel's people leaving about ten kittens left of the twenty that had originally been.

×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-

Michael Milton gave his younger brother a unimpressed look. "Gabriel if you don't open the door I swear to you I will find a way to open it myself and then you'll be sorry." Gabriel Milton rolled his eyes and unlocked the front door and let him in. Michael picked up his luggage and watched as Castiel struggled to get his suitcase out of the back of their car. Putting his luggage inside Michael headed down the steps to help him. Gabriel it seemed lost interest in his brother as he wasn't at the front door anymore. Reaching in to grab the large suitcase Castiel had packed Michael easily took it out and put it on the ground. Castiel beamed and kissed his cheek. "Thanks Michael. I don't know what I'd do without you." Michael smiled and wrapped his arm around Castiel's waist guiding him towards his childhood home. "I don't know Castiel you could probably make anyone help you." Castiel laughed and lightly shoved him as they approached the front porch. Joshua, Michael's large grey cat was lounging in the front window soaking up the sunlight when they made it up the steps. Michael let go of Castiel and opened the door for him letting him pass by first while Michael went in after grabbing his luggage and bringing it further in. His mom Naomi was in the kitchen making something while Gabriel was messing with the oven. No sign of the devil himself though. Lucifer wasn't home.

Castiel was admiring the interior of the living room when a man came from the upstairs. This must be Lucifer, Castiel deducted and it showed that despite Lucifer and Michael being fraternal twins there were similarities. Like how both of them would adopt a defensive stance when confronted with a stranger. Lucifer opened his mouth and said "Who the hell are you?" Castiel tilted his head and nervously shuffled almost bumping into a table holding a vase of flowers. Although before Castiel could respond Michael came in from the kitchen holding a cup of tea. Handing Castiel the mug with cartoon bees he said "Lucifer long time no see. This is Castiel, my boyfriend. Castiel this is Lucifer, my younger fraternal twin brother." Castiel took a sip of the tea and waved at Lucifer who waved back and then turned his attention to Michael who had started lifting the folded blankets on the couch. "You never said he was this cute Mikey." Lucifer spoke causing Castiel to choke on his tea and cough. Michael on the other hand took it all in a stride and replied "Aren't you getting married? I'm more than certain Adam will kill you for that."

Lucifer threw his head back and laughed. Settling down on the loveseat by the couch Lucifer lounged around the perfect picture of a rebellious teen. Castiel sat near Michael who had settled on the couch and was looking through the channels. Gabriel bounced into the room and took up residence on the other loveseat and engaged in a vicious game of footsies with Joshua who swipped at his feet every time he could. Naomi looked into the living room and saw her children behaving. Raphael would show up soon and then World War Milton would start. She quickly left the house locking it behind her while praying that it would still be standing once she got back. Her children may have gotten older and moved out but she knew they'd be at one another's throats as soon as they were given reason. Somethings just never changed ever and that was one of them. She got into her car. She had bigger things to worry about like whether or not she could get away with skipping out on Kate's mandatory parent meetings. Meanwhile back inside Gabriel had while playing footsies with Joshua kicked Michael by accident (or on purpose no one could really tell with Gabriel) causing him to kick Gabriel back harder. Then Gabriel either deliberately or accidentally kicked Castiel again in the shin causing him to spill his mug. Michael not one to not avenge his lover kicked Gabriel who hit the table sending the magazines in Lucifer's direction.

Lucifer was hit by a particularly heavy magazine right in the face. Gabriel watched as Lucifer slowly grabbed the magazine from his lap and picked it up. Locking eyes with Gabriel, Lucifer threw the magazine right at him and Gabriel shrieked and ducked. The magazine sailed through the air and landed in the fish tank sinking right to the bottom. The fish had disappeared almost immediately after the magazine had entered the tank. Castiel sat in horror as he looked between Michael and his brothers. Suddenly as if a switch had been flipped the three brothers began throwing things at one another. Castiel had taken refugee in the kitchen almost as soon as Michael was hit with a couch pillow by Lucifer who had been aiming for Gabriel but still smirked when it hit Michael instead. Castiel was relatively safe in the kitchen as it seemed none of them were brave or stupid enough to mess with their mother's kitchen. As Castiel hesitantly took a peek in the living room he was hit with water. Silence filtered through the living room as Castiel stood there with water dripping down his face and body. Suddenly the door opened to reveal Raphael.

Raphael Milton wasn't expecting to find his brothers in the middle of their living room turned war zone. He certainly wasn't expecting the blue eyed guy who was soaking wet and creating a puddle on the floor between the living room and kitchen. He opened his mouth and spoke "What the hell is going on here on this very specific day and time?" Lucifer and Gabriel scrambled to create an excuse while Michael had gotten a towel for the gentleman who was creating a mess. Raphael set his coat on the chair that wasn't turned over and soaked and decided against bringing his suitcases indoors till the living room was clean and dry. "I'd just like you to know Ralphy that it wasn't me who started it. Lucy was the one who started it." Leave Gabriel to rile up his brother after only a few moments of peace. Raphael pinched the bridge of his nose and wondered if Lucifer getting married was really that big of an occasion that he'd have to deal with his siblings once more. "You absolute liar! You're the one who kicked Mikey's boyfriend and started this whole mess!" Lucifer said while advancing upon Gabriel who had made his way to Raphael and hid behind him. Raphael sighed and spoke up "Lucifer calm down. Gabriel quit trying to exorcise Lucifer he's not a demon." Gabriel stopped chanting in Latin long enough to retort and eye Lucifer with doubt "Well it was worth a shot." Lucifer glared. 


	4. Are you satisfied with an average life?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is short

Balthazar Shurley managed to thankfully dodge his mom's clutches and disappeared into the backyard. He loved his mom he really did but even he needed to rest and not get roped into some over the top scheme. So Balthazar found himself jumping the fence to the alleyway and hoping that Adam was home. Once he got to Adam's house instead of finding his friend he found the house empty. Groaning Balthazar stomped off grumbling about idiotic friends and good for nothing pacts. As soon as Balthazar rounded the corner though he saw something or rather someone who caught his eyes.

There doing lawn maintenance was a tall, dark haired, beautiful male who was sweaty and shirtless ('!!!' Balthazar practically became the human form of that). As Balthazar got closer he saw that the man was clearly talking to someone. He turned to see Balthazar and gave a smile and wave in his direction. Balthazar froze and nearly collided with the pole nearby. Cursing he stepped back and watched as the man smiled a bit and then went back to work. Balthazar sighed and kept on walking he stood in front of the man's house and was ready to cross. Almost as soon as Balthazar stepped into the street a car turned sharply and Balthazar froze as the car kept coming closer. The man was honking and kept trying to brake but it wasn't working and suddenly just before Balthazar was going to be hit a hand yanked him backwards harshly.

"Are you okay? Oh my god you almost got ran over!" Balthazar blinked as the questions registered in his mind. The man came into Balthazar's view and suddenly the two stared at one another clearly shocked and surprised. "Winchester?!" Balthazar all but screamed. At the same time Sam said "Balthazar?!" in a shocked voice. Balthazar scrambled up from the sidewalk and attempted to collect himself. Sam on the other hand had a defensive stance his arms crossed and his face blank. The two didn't speak till Dean who had been watching the trainwreck from the porch knocked down a pot.

They both looked over as Dean cursed and tried to clean it up. Sam sighed and patted Balthazar's shoulder before departing with the usual 'I'll see you around Balthazar.' Meanwhile Balthazar had nodded and immediately took off down the sidewalk once he was clear from view Balthazar sat on the ground and screamed. A stray cat jumped and took off into a alleyway, Balthazar stayed on the ground before getting up and walking into a shop. He walked throughout the small shop full of random things every aisle held something different in them. Balthazar grabbed a old oujia board that looked interesting and a book about angelic and demonic lore. The cashier was a teen who looked bored and didn't bat a eye towards his purchases. Balthazar was thankful for that and went on his way after paying. Walking back home he thought of how his mom might react (badly).

Thankfully his dad answered the door and Balthazar took off into his room which was really the guest room now but either way it was his for now. Once in the safety of his room he took out the book and started reading. Balthazar couldn't have gotten about five pages in when the window slammed open on the other side of his room. Cursing in french Balthazar got up and tried to close it, succeeding only when he shut the book and slammed the window shut remembering to lock it. Finally he headed back to his bed and started reading.

Balthazar was about three chapters in when he heard footsteps heading up towards his door. Sighing he put his bookmark and said "Come in!" The door opened to reveal his dad. Balthazar raised an eyebrow at him and said "Can I help you dad?" Chuck rather than answering held up a tray with plates full of food and a glass cup of soda. "Your mom and I figured you'd be hungry since you skipped lunch and dinner. So here you go." Balthazar blinked as his dad deposited the tray full of food onto the dresser and left shutting his door. Finally Balthazar snapped out of it and checked his phone, no way had he spent that long reading that book. Only for him to see it was 8:00 p.m. the usual time his parents ate dinner. Panicking a bit, Balthazar grabbed the tray and started eating, eyeing the book warily.

×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-

Bartholomew Jones was a good person, well relatively speaking of course. Sure he was part of underground mafia ring and intimidated people professionally for a living, but he was a good person who didn't do anything to those who didn't deserve it. So why was he being arrested? Well let's backtrack firstly Bartholomew got up as he normally did and then around 11:10 a.m. he was arrested while walking Hannah's dog. The officers didn't say anything just let him bring the little pug along. As they got to the station he saw just why he was brought there. Upon entering the station there on the other side of the jail cell sat Malachi Andos and Inias Andos. Malachi had a dark look on his face while Inias looked guilty and even more so when Bartholomew stepped into view. He sighed and waved at the officer to let them out.

After Bartholomew got both brothers out of the cell they left Bartholomew calling his driver to come pick them up. Lulu, Hannah's dog was safely wrapped up in Inias arms once the car came by. Once in the safety of the car Bartholomew started in on Malachi who simply stared at him. "What the fuck Malachi why did you have the cops arrest me?! Why were the two of you in a cell?!" Then he turned to Inias who was petting Lulu and said "And you. Why were you in jail?! What did you do that was so terrible that you actually ended up in jail?!" Inias pressed into the seat as if to make himself smaller and invisible. Neither of them spoke after Bartholomew said all of that as the car passed through streets and by buildings. Then once they arrived at Bartholomew's house they got out and the driver parked and left them. Finally Inias spoke "I uh got into a bar fight...purely by accident I can assure you...Malachi helped me out after this guy tried to hit me over the head with a glass bottle." Bartholomew gave him a look and then turned towards the steps up to his house. Malachi opened his mouth but stopped when Bartholomew held up his hand and said "Don't. Just don't also neither of you can leave this house till this blows over." Inias spoke and said "That's fair." The door shut after all three entered.

After Bartholomew and Malachi went upstairs Inias flopped onto the couch and started texting on his phone. Samandriel, one of his friends had texted him several times in a row while his phone had been in custody of the police. Most of the texts consisted of Samandriel progressively calling Inias a variety of names some including those from school (the most memorable one was when Samandriel in front of all their friends and teachers said "Listen here penis Inias I won't hesitate bitch." The following day consisted of meetings with teachers and a thrown together on the spot rally against bullying which Samandriel led himself much to the horror of half their friends and the amusement of the others.) So Inias opened the most recent text received and read the following:

Alfie: Inias you motherfucker have I've got tea to spill (10:06 a.m.)  
Alfie: bitch are you fucking ignoring me?? (10:08 a.m.)  
Alfie: rat fuckin answer me I've done nothing wrong for you to do this to me (10:11 a.m.)  
Alfie: bitch!! (10:13 a.m.)  
Alfie: penis Inias if you don't answer me in the next ten minutes I will fuck you (10:16 a.m.)  
Alfie: shIT I MEANT FIGHT BOT FUCK (10:16 a.m.)  
Alfie: [multimedia message] (10:25 a.m.)  
Alfie: Inias I showed you my dick pls respond pls (11:57 a.m.)

Inias choked on his own spit and quickly texted back.

Inias: Hey quick question whAT THE FUCK (12:09 p.m.)  
Alfie: it's my dick also is that a good kinda what the fuck or is it a block and move to Sweden kinda what the fuck? (12:10 p.m.)  
Alfie: Inias answer me so I can chose whether I should burn all my records and hop on a plane and go or not (12:11 p.m.)  
Inias: please god I just wanted to have a good day I don't deserve this I am a good Christian I go to church. (12:13 p.m.)  
Alfie: bitch don't fucking lie you haven't gone to church since like middle school. (12:14 p.m.)

Inias dropped his phone and stared up at the ceiling as if contemplating death and existence itself. Finally he picked his phone back up and took a deep breath before texting Samandriel back.

Inias: considering the fact that you once fucked in the back of the church I wouldn't say shit Alfie welfie (12:23 p.m.)  
Alfie: BITCH I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU THAT WE'D NEVER TALK ABOUT THAT EVER AGAIN FOR AS LONG AS WE SHALL EVER LIVE! (12:25 p.m.)  
Inias: and what of it (12:25 p.m.)  
Alfie: snake you're a fake fan and this ain't it chief I'm gonna have to ask you to block yourself and report yourself and cancel yourself too (12:27 p.m.)

Inias smirked and set his phone aside snatching the remote off the floor and switching on the tv. Flipping through the channels he found that they were playing reruns of mafia wives and settled for that. Completely ignoring his phone which was going off with text after text from Samandriel who didn't take the hint about being left on read by someone. Today had started off shitty but it got better especially since Inias could use this as blackmail against Samandriel. 


	5. So here's a toast to how we screw it up

Lucifer Milton was fairly certain that his brothers were idiots, well except Raphael. Raphael was smart enough to not fall for a Winchester or Milligan. Jo Harvelle Adam's cousin had flirted with Raphael for all three months she'd been visiting and much to Raphael's horror and both Gabriel and Lucifer's amusment tried to seduce him. Lucifer was snapped out of his thoughts when Gabriel slammed his fist onto the counter and said "That bastard! How dare he!" Lucifer sighed and looked over to Michael who was reading a book while Castiel was curled up on the rest of the couch his head in Michael's lap sound asleep. Neither of them showed any indication of asking Gabriel what happened meanwhile Raphael was surprisingly nowhere to be found. Grumbling Lucifer turned his attention back to Gabriel and said "What's wrong Gabe?" Gabriel turned towards him and instead of speaking he simply handed over his phone which was opened to some app. Lucifer quietly sighed and resigned himself to reading whatever had made Gabriel mad. To Lucifer's complete and utter surprise Gabriel was talking to someone on the internet. Reading through the messages Lucifer promptly shoved the phone back to Gabriel and said "Gabe your friend just slept with his history professor. That's hardly any reason to call him a bastard and make a big deal out of it." Gabriel huffed and honest to god pouted like a five year old who was slighted by his friends. Lucifer rolled his eyes and flicked through the wedding venues and acts that Adam had gathered last night. Of course that's when he physically felt Gabriel shake before up and disappearing. 

Lucifer jump in surprise before going after Gabriel making sure to shut the screen door so that Joshua couldn't get out. Once Lucifer was outside he saw why Gabriel had ran out almost instantly. There with a overly excited Gabriel chattering at them was their grandfather Loki. Lucifer stepped down the front porch and took his grandfather in, he was still looking more like he was in his fifties rather than his sixties. Loki was smiling and laughing at Gabriel's antics before locking eyes with Lucifer. Raising his free hand he waved and Lucifer waved back and started crossing the lawn to grab his brother before he could rope his grandfather into something. "Hello Lucifer. Congratulations on finding someone who could handle this family's crazy antics." His grandfather greeted him and Lucifer felt a smile tug at his lips before he grabbed Gabriel by the collar and said "Oh trust me granddad it wasn't easy to find someone who could deal with Gabriel's constant pranking and Raphael's interrogations." His grandfather laughed heartily and the three made it to the front porch Lucifer went up first still holding onto Gabriel's collar. Opening the screen door he let go of Gabriel and picked up Joshua before stepping inside followed by Gabriel and then their grandfather. Raphael had appeared sometime while Lucifer and Gabriel were outside and was looking through the fridge. Raphael looked up waving his hand around in a makeshift greeting as he took out a soda and popped it open. 

It was when Raphael was bring the can up to his lips that he saw their guest. Loki, their grandfather stood by the door looking almost exactly like the last time he'd been there. "What the fuck. When did you get here?" The words fell out of Raphael's mouth before he could stop them. Flushing in embarrassment he opened his mouth to apologize but his grandfather beat him to it. "Not the greeting I was exactly hoping for but it's better than getting punched in the face." with that he threw his arm around Raphael and dragged him into the living room, leaving Lucifer and Gabriel dying of laughter in the kitchen. Michael watched in amusement as his grandfather strolled in picking up random objects that littered the living room, Raphael followed closely behind putting the misplaced objects and trinkets back on their proper places. Castiel shifted and the blanket that Raphael had thrown on them was more on the floor than them. Michael smiled and reached down to firmly cover him when his grandfather amused chuckle reached his ears. Michael looked up and watched as Raphael disappeared into the kitchen most likely to fight Gabriel and Lucifer who were still in the kitchen laughing. His grandfather was seated on the loveseat near the bookcase and Michael caught his eyes which held a soft look. "Is this the guy that you're always raving about to your mother?" He asked while playing with the small figurines on the table top. Michael smiled and smoothed down Castiel's hair and said "Yeah this is him. This is Castiel." Michael and his grandfather sat there in a comfortable silence.

Raphael entered the kitchen and glared at Gabriel who was snickering still and then at Lucifer who bless him was trying to contain his laughter. "Both of you shut up that was not funny." If anything his words seemed to just cause his siblings to laugh even more. Once the two finally calmed down Raphael snagged their sleeves and dragged them out into the living room. There they found their grandfather and Michael chatting about things while Castiel was sound asleep shifting occasionally. Raphael quickly beat both of his brothers to the only loveseat unoccupied and promptly sat down. Not one to be deterred Gabriel settled himself directly onto Raphael's lap and smirked as Raphael attempted to shove him off onto the floor. Sadly it was like an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object and so Raphael simply resigned himself to his fate while Lucifer had settled in a chair from the kitchen. The four brothers plus Castiel and their grandfather sat in silence and then a phone rang. Lucifer's phone to be exact before he could reach for it from the table nearby Gabriel had already grabbed it and answered it. "You've reached Lucifer Nicholas Milton's phone he's currently unavailable due to the fact that he's making small children burst into tears but can I take a message for him?" At those words Lucifer almost leaped out of his chair and killed him. Raphael held up his hand and Lucifer stopped, waiting to see just what Raphael had planned. 

In a matter of mere seconds Raphael had pushed Gabriel onto to the floor causing him to yelp and let go of Lucifer's phone. Lucifer reached over and snatched it up seeing that Adam was on the phone. Quickly standing up Lucifer made his way outside and put the phone up to his ear. "Hello?" There was a slight pause before Adam's voice came through the device "So you're done making small children burst into tears?" Lucifer laughed a bit and leaned against the wall before replying with "Firstly I do not enjoy making small children cry I much rather prefer to make grown men and women cry while on a stand and secondly that was Gabriel you know how his pranks are." Adam made a quiet humming sound and there was silence as Adam did something on the other end before saying "I've been thinking of having a little get together both of our families are complete and all together. So I figured we could all have dinner?" Lucifer contemplated the pros and cons (which there were many many cons but if Adam wanted it then by god was Lucifer going to agree either way) before agreeing and the two made plans to gather all their family in one place in order to bond and talk. After talking to Adam a while longer he finally went back inside the sun about to set and immediately turned tail and stayed outside. Raphael was threatening Gabriel with bodily harm while holding onto a whisk while Michael tried to calm him down and Castiel was taking refugee with their grandfather by the staircase. They were clearly very smart since once Raphael let out a indignant scream they both defected deeper into the hallway and into safety. Meanwhile, Lucifer watched as chaos unfolded.

Gabriel managed to dodge Raphael's hands with a shriek and dived behind the couch for safety. Michael had barely managed to grab Raphael and try and restrain him before Gabriel needed to taken to a hospital. Lucifer on the other hand laughed and eyed the bookshelf that had been kicked when Gabriel tried to escape from behind the couch. Michael while still grabbing onto Raphael gave Lucifer a look who simply shrugged and flicked a small piece of paper off the table top. "Lucifer, help me you asshole!" Michael said as he tugged Raphael away towards the back door and Lucifer rolled his eyes but headed over to Gabriel. Snagging his collar Lucifer yanked Gabriel up off the floor and in a flash was heading towards the kitchen managing to gracefully avoid knocking down the upturned chairs. Gabriel gave a strangled cry that was one part humiliation and another part surprise as Lucifer bodily hauled him into the kitchen. The two swore that they'd heard their grandfather laughing in the halls as Castiel peered out from behind the stairs. Gabriel barely managed a small mischievous smile at Castiel before he and Lucifer were in the clean and impeccably spotless kitchen their mother ruled with an iron fist. Lucifer grabbed two ice cold beers from the fridge and handed one to Gabriel. "To not dying today." 

Gabriel raised his beer and then took a sip barely managing to keep it down after the words registered in his mind. He choked on the beer while also trying not to laugh. All was good in the Milton household well as good as a chaotic family can get at least.

×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-

Zachariah eyed the letter with caution. Which was warranted after the whole Halloween incident courtesy of Samandriel, Inias and Ephraim along with Ion. Those four somehow always got into trouble no matter what. Either way Zachariah wasn't going to touch this letter without some caution. Virgil was sitting at the counter drinking a cup of coffee when she said "For God's sake just open the damn letter before you burst a vein." He gave her a look before grabbing it off the table while holding a piece of buttered toast. It wasn't heavy or beeping suspiciously so there's the possibility its just a normal letter. Only nothing in Zachariah's life was ever normal. So he tore open the letter and what fluttered out was a paper. Virgil wrapped herself up and sat across from him. Picking up the envelope she read out loud the contents "From Samandriel Stone & others. To Zachariah & Virgil Addler." Zachariah was still staring at the packet and the paper that was from the envelope. Virgil reached over and plucked it out of his hands and what greeted her was in bright colored and boldly printed words 'Welcome to your little own slice of Heaven. Come join us at Paradise Hotel & Resort for a trip full of relaxation and peacefulness. You'll never want to leave this Eden!'

The paper fell from her hands and back onto the table as she took a long sip from her coffee cup. Zachariah's toast was nothing but crumbs and he cursed as he threw it away and grabbed another. The two didn't speak for a good five minutes then Virgil said "I'll get the cooler and suitcases you go lock up everything else and we'll meet back up in the car?" Zachariah nodded and exited the kitchen to make sure everything was locked while Virgil got up and yanked out the cooler from the pantry. The wife and husband of some many years and counting rushed to get everything ready before they could be roped into doing some business that would delay their vacation. Virgil packed every soda can into the cooler while stuffing one bag full of snacks. She figured they could buy fast food if they needed an actual meal. When Virgil got outside Zachariah was opening the trunk and putting the suitcases inside. She turned and locked the front door then grabbed onto the handle of the cooler and wheeled it towards the car. Her phone and Zachariah's was in her purse along with the chargers and anything else they might need. She got into the car and moved the snacks to the backseat while Zachariah shut the trunk and got into the driver's seat. Once everything was settled, Zachariah started the car and put the address into the GPS. Then they started off on the road trip.

Meanwhile Abner was calling them nonstop after yelling at both Samandriel and Inias for being absolute and utter idiots. Unfortunately they didn't answer as both of them were in the car without a care in the world driving towards a vacation that they'd take advantage of while they still could.


End file.
